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Things to Consider before Rekindling that Flame with an Ex

The hardest thing about being in a relationship is probably trying to decide if you should end it. The second would be whether you should give it another chance, especially if you’ve already broken up. There comes a time in relationships when you think about throwing in the towel. And what if you do, but then your significant other wants you back? What if they promise to change? Swears up and down, that the thing that tore you apart will never, ever happen again? Do you believe them? Do you risk getting your heart broken all over again?

If you’re thinking about breathing new life into that relationship, here are a few things you should consider:

couple-unhappy-blackWhy did you break up?

Think hard about what it is that broke you up and whether or not it’s something you can either forgive or live with because there’s no 100 percent guarantee that it won’t keep happening.

Why do you want to reunite?

Is it mostly because they are putting pressure on you? Or maybe your kids are, or your family is? This needs to be YOUR decision, not anyone else’s. Do you truly still love him/her and see a future together? You probably don’t really want him/her, but just a relationship.

breakupIs the problem chronic?

Is what caused the break up something that keeps happening? How many chances have you already given your ex? Your ex may start making promises that whatever problems you have will never ever happen again. But if they’ve already happened over and over, the reality is that no matter how much he/she may want to change, they may not be able to.

Are you willing to forgive?

If you decide to get back together, you shouldn’t bring up the past too much. Not that it can never be spoken of again, but it can’t be your way of trying to win every argument.

relationship-breakupBe Friends First

Try being friends with him/her first. This way, you can stay close enough to see if their behavior has really changed without the chance of sex increasing your attachment and expectations.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

No matter how many promises he/she makes. Don’t listen to anything. Watch their behavior. Remember it’s the actions in a relationship that will determine everything. And watch for changes before agreeing to a second chance.

Don’t feel pressured to get back together. Reevaluate where you are in your life and if you want him or her to be back in it. Often times we tend to fall back into the arms of certain people because we are comfortable. But in this case, let your happiness and well being outweigh everything. What’s meant to be will be. Never settle, there’s always better.