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Navigating the Single Scene: A Girl's Guide to getting back into the groove after a tough breakup

“Look at him over there. He’s so cute! I’m going to go over and tell him you’re interested.” Just when I thought my night was going to be ruined I pulled my friend by her arm and said, “no, please don’t.” These are the situations I always dreaded when I go out with my friends. I started to get tired of them trying to hook me up with people I wouldn’t even look at. I know that sounds shady, but it’s the truth. I swear I am the sweetest person though, I promise! It just started to get so disappointing to see their choices and how desperate they were to hook me up with just about anyone.

My last break up certainly wasn’t the easiest. So I started to slowly, but surely make my way back out there. When I started going out right after my breakup, to sort of “ease the pain.” I use to pray no one would talk to me. I just wasn’t interested in holding a conversation and my self-confidence diminished without me even noticing. But once I got the courage to finally go out and start acknowledging guys, I honestly couldn’t stop. It’s like I finally got my groove back and was ready to take on whatever came my way. After all I wasn’t going to find Mr. Right by staying home every night so here’s how I got comfortable again:My last break up certainly wasn’t the easiest. So I started to slowly, but surely make my way back out there. When I started going out right after my breakup, to sort of “ease the pain.” I use to pray no one would talk to me. I just wasn’t interested in holding a conversation and my self-confidence diminished without me even noticing. But once I got the courage to finally go out and start acknowledging guys, I honestly couldn’t stop. It’s like I finally got my groove back and was ready to take on whatever came my way. After all I wasn’t going to find Mr. Right by staying home every night so here’s how I got comfortable again:

Friends with Benefits

I only recommend this if you can handle it. I’m a relationship kind of girl, so it’s not too hard for me to catch the feels for a potential interest especially if we’ve been seeing each other casually. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a FWB, but you both have to be on the same page and it has to be someone you’ve never dealt with before.

Ignore your family and friends

If you haven’t started doing this, please start right now at this very moment. It might sound harsh, but only you know what works for you. So if you need to, date yourself for a while. In order to let anyone love you, you have to love yourself first.

black-couple-on-dateGo Out

I know you want to catch your guilty pleasure of Love and Hip Hop on Monday nights or your Thursday night Scandal, but unless Mr. Right is on one of those episodes or sitting beside you at home you won’t find him. Treat yourself to a fun-filled night. Put your freakum dresss on, your heels (yes the ones that hurt) and beat your face to capacity.

FLIRT

This is a major key. Seriously! (And it’s in caps because I mean it!) Being in a relationship makes you tone down your flirting so do it as much as you can and when you can.

A black woman lying in bed using a cell phone. --- Image by © Michael Poehlman/Corbis

Online Dating

If you want to be spontaneous try putting yourself on a dating website. Tinder has managed to change the dating game. So keep your expectations open as well as your DM’s. There are billions of people in the world. Maybe your Mr. Right is only an app away.

Believe me when I say, dating is the one reality I hated to face. I rather get my teeth pulled than go on a date. Not saying dating is the most horrible thing, but its hard trying to get back into the swing of things once you’ve become accustomed to a particular person. Take that leap of faith! It’s 2016 and meeting new people is refreshing. Your Mr. Right could be right outside those doors waiting for you. Go get him!

 

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