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I never really like to use the term “friends with benefits,” unless if that’s what we really are and there’s no other way to describe our relationship or friendship. See that alone sounds complicated doesn’t it? Anyways, let’s just call him a friend. Yes, I was attracted to him, but still in the process of getting to know him. Even though we didn’t know each other that well I found him even more attractive, because he never bragged about his D or his sex game. I can’t be alone on this one, but it is such a turn off for me when guys brag about what they’re packing when in reality they’re lacking!

When I first met him I thought we would’ve ended up being more than just sex buddies, but I didn’t see anything wrong with it because we actually ended up having an amazing sexual chemistry. He knew all the things to do without me having to tell him. You know, the right strokes and best positions. (Don’t you just hate when you have to give a guy a sex manual?) Constantly telling them what pleases you and how to?

One day I was getting ready to leave work and he randomly texted me, “come thru tonight?” It caught me by surprise, because even though our sexual escapades were spontaneous; they were still planned in some way. I was turned on by the “come thru tonight?” text and had a high expectation that tonight was going to be yet another great night, but little did I know I was about to be let down. Ladies, you know those nights when you want to relieve some stress, but wine, a good meal or a warm shower just can’t seem to fix it. I just knew a good ole dose of some Vitamin D was going to be the cure.


When I got to his house we got right to it. He started taking my clothes off and then we headed straight for the bed. His body felt so warm pressed up against mine, but little did I know something else would be too. I was so into this moment that I really didn’t expect what was coming. Just as we both were about to climax at the exact same time, (which by the way never happens) he lets out a big “WHEWWWW!” Like a sigh of relief. Now remind you, he didn’t climax yet, but he was about to and so was I. After he let out that WHEWWWW! My orgasm said EWWWWWWW! I was so disgusted! His body wasn’t the only thing that was hot, so was his breath!!! I nearly fainted, no lie. I was so turned off; I wanted him off of me and away from me immediately. Me not being selfish (and I don’t know why I wasn’t) I let him get that one off. Even though I thought I was about to die.


All I could think was I wish I had a mint or some gum. I would’ve popped it right in his mouth if I knew he was about to unleash that deadly dragon. Once he finally snapped back to reality, I jumped right into it and said, “ What did you eat today?” He mumbles, “Chinese food.” I rolled my eyes with my back still turned to him, because I just couldn’t stomach his breath and if my nose could talk it probably would’ve cursed me out. A glass of wine and the smell of my own perfume after a nice shower would’ve done me better than this one night with him.

Note to self-ladies: Keep some Listerine or some tic tacks in your purse or on the nightstand you never know when you might need them. Oh and if he’s about climax and you have a fear that what happened to me, might happen to you, put your hand over his mouth. Why waste a good orgasm on some Chinese food breath. He’ll probably be thinking, why is her hand over my mouth, but then he’ll remember the feeling of the orgasm that’s about to cum!


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