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“Is it mean if I say no?” “I made a comment at work and they probably think I’m a bitch.” “What if I tell him I really don’t want to go to Red Lobster?” “Is he going to think I’m bougie?” You’ve probably asked a friend one of these questions before, if not something similar. But the real question is how do women get what they want without being called a bitch or bossy? Well, it’s called being assertive and knowing when and how to do it. So grab a notepad ladies, because it’s time for How to be an Assertive Woman and Get What You Want 101. (Without being called a bitch of course)

Share that beautiful smile

Being assertive starts with your appearance. When you’re assertive, you are authoritative. No one is going to take you serious if you seem timid. So stand up straight, make eye contact when you’re speaking and share that beautiful smile. A woman’s confidence speaks volumes so walk with confidence and act like your ish don’t stink!


Learn the difference between being assertive and outspoken

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with speaking your mind. CLASSY|RATCHET definitely suggests that you be yourself at all times and say how you feel (as long as what you’re thinking of saying is being said at an appropriate time). But when it comes to being assertive make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Flexible and Firm

One of the biggest issues we all have as much as we may hate to admit it; is prioritizing. So if you feel like you over-commit yourself play with your responses to requests for a week. It’s okay to say no. We know it might be hard, but do it firmly. So if Melissa calls you to go clubbing this weekend and you rather chill at home tell her the truth. “I would really love to hang with you, but I have to take care of a few things I’ve been putting off.” If she’s a real friend she’ll understand. Let her know that you will hang out with her next weekend or you can go out her with her Friday night and make yourself and your responsibilities a priority on Saturday or vice versa. Under any circumstance always put yourself first!

Be assertive at work 

You’re at an office meeting at work and one guy slams his fist on the table and barks about what he thinks matters. Another guy adds his two cents and disagrees. Now it’s your turn! What do you do? Sit there and mess with your thumbs or do you speak your mind and say how you feel like the other guys. You speak your mind! If you don’t agree with neither of them speak up! You are just as entitled to be as passionate as the other guys. Always remember that. Yes, people will talk and might say things like “she’s so emotional” or “she’s so bitchy.” But ask yourself this, would you rather sit there and smile knowing you don’t agree or would you rather stand up and say how you feel? Just like men you are entitled to be passionate about a certain topic without seeming emotional or aggressive.

Does he think I’m intimidating and controlling?  

Believe it or not men like assertive women. They love a confident woman that is sure of her wants and needs. But don’t lay everything out on the table when you meet him for the first time, but be honest. Tell him exactly what you are looking for and how you feel. Doing things like making suggestions for dates and paying attention to his interest will help to spark his interest. Just be sure that you don’t come off controlling, because the last thing we want as women is a man that isn’t spontaneous and doesn’t take the lead. Don’t be a woman that needs a man, be a woman that a man needs.


There will always be people that find fault with authority and are intimidated by strength, especially if it’s coming from a woman. Let people call you whatever they like. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that being assertive or aggressive makes you a bitch. It’s better to say things than leave things unsaid. Always remember a woman who walks in purpose doesn’t have to choose people or opportunities. Her light causes people and other opportunities to pursue her. So that let light shine ladies!


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