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Avoiding Relationship tendencies when you’re Just Friends

The countdown began 10, 9, 8. We were seconds away from a brand new year when I felt like someone was watching me. I turned around and there he was, handsome as hell, tall and a nice smile. Just my type. As he smiled at me from across the room I smiled back. I tried to give limited eye contact, but from the corner of my eye I still felt him staring. He made his move when the ball dropped. “How are you?” Me with my slick mouth replied, “I’m doing good. I saw you looking at me.”

We kept in contact for several months. You know friendly conversations, a few laughs and tons of flirting, even sexually. Until it hit me, where the hell did the spark go? The fun, excitement, sexual flirtation to me feeling like I was his girl. Here I am reaching for my wallet several times, making sure he eats, folding his clothes. Basically catering to his needs day in and day out, but I’m left out to dry. So I began to think what about me? What about my feelings? Where’s my food? If I’m not a priority and we haven’t confirmed what we are as of yet. I shouldn’t be swimming through oceans when he wouldn’t jump over puddles for me.


I had come to terms and accepted the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic. I love the cute texts, conversations while you cuddle, the “just because” gestures. But I knew not to expect that because we weren’t official. Once I realized that I was stepping outside the friend zone I decided to distance myself. I made myself less available and not so willing to do everything that was asked or expected of me. I kept reminding myself that were only friends, but when you have such a kind heart it’s hard not to do for other people.

I am my #1 priority and always will be. I am not his girlfriend and don’t owe him any explanations and I shouldn’t continue to put him first. I was done playing house, when it was obvious that this “house” wasn’t my home. I am a relationship type of girl, but I refused to fulfill girlfriend duties when I wasn’t given that title.


And of course I wasn’t going to have my kindness taken for granted. I simply switched roles and started to fulfill my duties as a friend. I took a step back and thought #WWFD what would a friend do? Would a friend make sure he/she spoke to him/her every day? I didn’t need to see him every day. Yes, we could keep in contact but friends check in with one another, which is exactly what I started to do. A couple hey, how you doing texts and going out with each other here and there.

If you are interested in him/her you should definitely try to maintain the friendship, especially if you see potential. Always remember communication is extremely important in any relationship. Be sure that you are aware of what the him/her may want out of the friendship. Know what road you are headed before deciding to go above and beyond. No matter what it should always be 50/50 not 80/20. If you are fulfilling the role as the 80 gladly dismiss yourself. As cliché as it sounds life is one big ocean, but best believe there’s tons of fish swimming in that sea.